I’ve become an NPR
junkie. A weird way to put it I suppose since public broadcasting is
more wholesome than detrimental. You know that song, Video Killed the
Radio Star. The argument is that television has made radio less
popular. Since it adds the visual dimension to media. But in my
opinions, pure audio is able to accomplish things that televised
broadcast can not. For one thing audio is making a big comeback, now
that the portability of XM radios and MP3 players are getting so big.

So I find myself
listen to music, news, and radio programs while I drive, work at my
desk, do chores around the house, and even now typing on the computer.
If I were watching TV I have to draw away much more of my attention to
the TV screen. In this age of multi-tasking, audio media intake seems
like the way to go. And what’s more you can more easily incorporate it
in your life events, which you can’t do as easily with TV. For example
I heard on the news that users of iPod are sometimes amazed how the
player seems to have “a mind of it’s own” by playing the right choice
of music at the appropriate time. Now I’ve witnessed this sort of
phenomenon myself already on my computer’s Winamp. To me it’s chance
coincidence. But it’s insanely cool when it happens. But if you make
things more portable, you can easily carry a soundtrack of your life
with you. You are repairing your car and the Mission Impossible theme
plays. You take a test and have the Jeopardy tune in the backdrop. You
race your friend to the front door and to the music of Chariots of
Fire… but for that to be appropriate you race your friend in slowww…
mmoootionnn…

Art can imitate life
even more so now. The possibility exists for us to more easily
orchestrate scenes. Well not really, since we don’t have control over
people’s action. You don’t really have a director’s role. It’s not like
you can point your finger and have some hottie come on to you. Nor can
we snap our fingers and have everyone in the background dance with us
in sync while we sing a catchy number. We’re probably better off that
way. Real life needs to preserve it’s reality.

So I’ve been helping
folks with their websites recently as well as redo my own. It’s good to
get work those html fingers again. And recently I’ve playing the
archived files of Wait, Wait, Don’t tell me in the background while I
work on the sites.

http://www.npr.org/programs/waitwait/

But even then I have to pause it a while to get some quiet time. Or if I want some concentration.

Also on NPR today was a very amusing news broadcast. Follow this link and click [listen].

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4225769

Now there are two
interesting theories here. One is that we assume the Y chromosome with
80 genes use to have the same number as the X chromosome 1,000 genes
hundreds of millions of years ago. A hypothesis can be extrapolated
that the Y chromosome will evolve into nothingness millions of years in
the future. Which could mean the end of the male gender.  <gasp> Or at least for sexual reproduction.  <double gasp>

Then there is the
other theory that’s less disparaging. In fact gives hope to the male
race. What’s cool is that the Y chromosome is a giant palindrome. And
that if the chromosome encounters any dangers, as errors in
replication, then it can easily find it’s mirror image for the fix. Any
threat to Y's existence can be neutralized. The females with two X
chromosomes have a similar mechanism, where errors in one X is fixed by
taking a sequence from the other. Now, what’s cool is that this
inherent difference in males and females could explain the differences
in our mentality as well as physicality. I also think it’s nifty that I
can say I have a palindrome in my core being. And it’s a male ego trip
to think of our Y chromosome to be special.

I just like the evidence supporting that both the male and female gender live on.  A big cheer for sexuality. Woohoo!

Iron Chef had a special event honoring dishes number 2000 and 2001.

I've always been a big fan of the show, and this specail two episode feature just blew me away. It's a shame you can't share the joys of taste, texture, or scent through television. But what they show did well was present the artisitic creativity and magic that went into the dishes, from preparation to presentation. Food is much more than just sustenance. It's also about flavor, enjoyment, sharing, and culture. And for truly extraordinary chefs it's also about beauty and expression. The battle was between two teams, each with three Iron Chefs. The all French team had a very royal presentaion with a crown with ribs and accents of Louis XIV and the three musketeers. The all Chinese team portrayed dragon of eel roosting on top mountian in ancient mythology which they lit on fire. That's just insanely cool.

Finished watching Super Size me, my old manger M who was kind enough to lend it to me. So fast food has always been one of those things you’ve always heard to be bad for you. But sometimes it takes a cinemetographized (yeah I made up that word) detailed account of it’s harms before it really hits you in the head how bad it is.

This DVD also packed in some extra footage and interviews. One of them included a discussion he had with Eric Schlosser, author of Fast Food Nation. Several good points were brought up about the practices of corporate franchised America and how they affect both our agriculture and pop culture. Another good point raised is that the blame does not go to the big companies alone. Americans have to be wise enough about their health, and know what’s good for us. We have responsibilities over the choices we make too. That’s a bit of my conservative side talking. Similar to the situation with the cigarette companies. True they have been notorious for misleading people, but how does one smoker alone get profit from suing the bastards for millions? That one smoker had chosen to disregard their health, and we play the role of victims all the time. Ideally the companies should compensate each smoker proportionally to the harm their product alone caused. In my mind many people willingly corrupt their own bodies for reasons beyond what big companies suggest.

So now whenever I view documentaries with heavy political commentary I’m more aware of the liberal and conservative argument in both. You definitely want dishonest acts to be known and advocate that they desist. But you should also be cautious as not to go too far with the blame game, and acknowledge that we as human beings have the will to choose.

Well I enjoyed this film very much. It had many funny moments. My favorite is Day 17: The Girlfriend Speaks Out.  I think it’s very sweet that his vegan chef girlfriend produced a Detox Diet for him. I stumbled across her website too.

http://www.healthychefalex.com/index.htm

I can be very stubborn in my opinions about artistic layout sometimes. Especially when it comes to something that I claim ownership to. I so want to apologize to Yukino for the minor quibble we had. I think both of us are perfectionists when it comes to fine tuning important documents. There wasn’t any more than an exchange of opinions, but I believe I left a hint of curt atmosphere. Typically you don’t want to bring up an apology over trivial things, especially because there may not have been anything there felt by the other party to begin with. But oh well. Better to get it out in the open. Then move on.

I recall a time before when my obsessive compulsive nature did get out of line. Back in high school I was working on a project with Dr. Tofu and Kuno. Our assignment was to make a children’s story book. A very fun project indeed. We began by having discussions with actual elementary school kids. Then did some research into the storyline we wanted to tell. My colleagues and I composed of a kick-ass team too. As the two of them were incredibly good at coming up with creative ideas.

I believe it was Kuno that came up with the fundamental plot. We blended a story of Apollo 11 where Armstrong first set foot on the moon with the Chinese folklore of the Moon Lady and the rabbit that inhabit the moon. It was a perfect formula of fairy tale, history, and good ole fashion fun. We had a storyboard laid out and a great story to go with it. In terms of division of tasks it was mostly well distributed. My responsibility was primarily the pen illustrations. The binding and book cover was to be done by Kuno who put in a lot of effort.

Now here’s when it kicks in. I know we were under a tight time-line, so we were all feeling stressed from the pressure. One night I brought the book back home with me to finish the last of the pages and add it to the binding. As I held the book in my hands, something gnawed at me. The cover. I was totally unsatisfied with it. In a sense I was blind to the hard work of my teammates, and compelled by some force to take hold of fate and bring forth what I wanted.

zzzzsshhhrrrrrrriiiiiiippp.....

I severed the spine. Tore the binding out like I was unwrapping my prize. Shreds and scraps stripped away piece by piece urged on by my madness. And when the carnage was over the remnants of the book fell from my guilty hands. The raped book lay before me.

I worked quickly to create a new binding and cover. Because I had but one night I knew whatever I made would probably be ideal either. But at that moment my priority was to remedy the horrible act I had just done. Dear God. How will I explain it to my friends? They trusted me.

The next morning I told them what I did. Not the details, just that I had created a new cover. They responded without any sort of incriminating tone. Their lack of words seemed to suggest enough their disappointment in me. I had made a very selfish decision without consulting with them beforehand. My controlling nature had crossed the line that time in an environment that was founded on democracy.

In the end the book went out that way. There wasn’t time left to change it any further at that point. And overall I must say that it was a really good piece. Our teacher liked it, and the kids liked it. My teammates have long since forgiven me for that. As for me I shall remember the storybook as teaching me an important lesson. Sometimes having things perfect for you really isn’t perfect for you. Such irony.

Actually now that I think about it, it’s a lot like John Nash’s game theory. The best outcome is not when an individual chooses based on the best outlook for themselves. Incomplete! The best outcome is when the individual chooses based on what is best form themselves and the group.

My dad came to visit me.

Or so I thought.

And then I woke up from my dream. There was a period of time when I use
to jot down what I dreamed of fairly regularly because they are often
very interesting to think about as possible doorways into your own
subconscious. I haven’t done that for a long time, perhaps either
because I had less dreams or they weren’t really memorable enough to be
of note.
 
So in this one, I was sitting at my old home at my aunt’s place on the
second floor. My uncle called me out from the backyard and told me that
my dad is here, and that I should come down and help him with his bags.
It was a surprise visit for me. I gave him a hug and we began to chat a
bit. I showed him some the pictures of Yukino and myself hanging on the
wall. Then he asked me when I would have free time. I told him that I
got off at 4:00. But then that left me confused, because I said it in
Chinese and I meant to say I get off class at 4:00. For the record I am
working now, and very seldom leave before 5pm. But for some reason in
my dream that wasn’t in the storyline. I had the thought that I just
misspoke and that I was still in school.

Funny as I don’t recall ever in my dreams my new apartment or the
office at work ever appearing as a setting. Even though for the past
half year most of my waking days are spent at these two locations.
Dreams seem to mesh the past with the present into a scene that only
fantasy can create. People and places are familiar with in the past
reappear in the roles they played in our past. And even we ourselves
can loose the sense of our current lifestyle. And see ourselves in the
roles we remember. I think it’s very appropriate that dreams are set
scenes very different from our daily lives. It signals the sign of
creativity.

I just woke up from a nap I took early in the evening. And I just woke
up to the quiet of the night. You know the feeling you get when you get
up from bed in the middle of the night? That’s a very strange feeling
of stillness. As if the rest of the world around you has closed up
shop. Similar to the feeling I’m sure an astronaut gets when they are
high above space. How only those items within your immediate proximity
show much commotion. And outside your window you see a calm landscape.

Rain made the event much more interesting. More impact than
otherwise. I watched the opening of Clinton’s Presidential Library in Little
Rock Arkansas. The rain couldn’t keep four presidents out of bed, so eloquently
put by Bono and the Edge. They performed the song “Sunday, Bloody Sunday” and a
few lines of the lyrics still stick.

And we sing the rebel tune
Where indifference is our real enemy

The library in honor of William Jefferson Clinton portrayed
the theme of a Bridge to the 21^st Century. Very appropriate as
Clinton’s years spanned the two centuries. The former president gave a very
proper speech for these times. As you may have guessed it was about unifying
the country. Working together as nation. The red that draw lines that should
not be crossed. The blue that breaks down barriers that divide us. What made it
all memorable was the rain. One of those unpredictable moments that distinguish
that event from any other.

The audience wore ponchos and carried umbrellas, but I
noticed how the colors of the umbrellas were a scattered assortment of mostly
red and blue. But Clinton, George W. Bush, and the other former presidents
along the family had black umbrellas. Very neutral and formal black. Hilary odd
enough with a beige one that matches her attire. And Bono of U2 with
his Irish roots sported a green umbrella. Coincidence? I think not! Some
force with their sense of artistic impression skillfully laid out this
ensemble. Similar to how a director does with an important scene in a film.
What was this force? A witty logistics director? A committee planting subliminal
messages? The act of God? The compound effect of the many subconscious thoughts
of each individual, playing their part and acting out the will of a greater
power? Whoever they may be, they know how to present a great story.

Does it really matter what color your umbrella is, when we
have many more fundamental things in common?

http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/11/18/clinton.library.opening/index.html

Just finished dinner. I debated whether or not to order out tonight, but I figured I’d cook. I still had some of the roast pork left over from last Sunday when we went to ancestor worship south of San Francisco. Interesting gig they have set up. There’s an organization over here composed of a community of folks from our old village in China. They do various sorts of philanthropy and one of them is to round up everyone (twice a year, I think) to visit the cemetery of our forefathers. The incentive the give for folks to come is that they hand out tickets than can be exchanged for a pound roast pork at San Francisco Chinese Delis. At these events we burn incense, paper money, and adorn their graves with many goods for them in the afterlife. Such as fruits, flowers, wine, or cigarettes if they were smokers.

As respect for my heritage I still go to these events. But it’s a bit more than that, since I actually want to go. If there is an afterlife, it’s good for those who have passed to know that we still about them. Not only that but it’s very reassuring to those now alive that they will be remembered still after their passing. Again. It’s out of respect for the dead.

There is a traditional practice to give three bows that we perform to honor the person, with folded hands as in prayer. When I did, I added my own prayer. And regarding prayers, it’s one of those many things that I feel needn’t be revealed to others.

A man should not wait idly for his wish to come true. Be it god or spirits, wonder works when driven by passion.

I exercised this morning. My dad would be glad to know that. He jogs every morning, and when I visited him in China earlier this year it was a real pleasure to accompany him in his morning run. He practices tai chi as well. Well ever since then he’s always encouraged me to exercise more. I plan to make this more routine.

I’ve stocked my fridge with orange juice and milk. I’ve had an interest in broadening my familiarity with various wines, beers, and other drinks. Just as important though was to develop a habit of drinking the good stuff. Calcium and Vitamin C baby.

In the past week I’ve had fast food for about three nights. That’s not probably too bad. But some co-workers and I were chatting about the movie “Super Size Me” over drinks yesterday, and they didn’t paint a very good picture of burgers and fries. I haven’t seen the movie yet myself but it sounds hilarious from how they describe it.

So I cooked rice and shrimp along with the roast pork. Added some scallions for color and flavor. I just love these. They themselves probably do not fill the daily suggested portion of vegetables, but I often find them to be the garnish of choice.

I was flipping through the channels when I heard news of the death of author, historian, and human right activist Iris Chang. Now it's a shame that I haven't actually read her books and have only heard about her works in certain circles of friends. But it was still good to know such a talented asian writer had done many notable deeds for society. What surprised me a bit about the news was it's carefully succinct telling of the story. Only specific facts were given and police have called it as an apparent suicide. They also mentioned that she was hospitalized for a nervous breakdown from research that she was doing in a recent book.

http://news.findlaw.com/ap_stories/other/1110/11-10-2004/20041110190009_13.html

Now as of today, the authorities have not made the cause of death to be official. And originally I was wondering whether it was that they were tracking down other possible causes, perhaps a conspiracy. But after reading more articles I came across this one that made a lot of sense.

http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/edit/archives/2004/11/11/2003210626

Journalists have to treat reporting of the such subjects with care. They mention the internet as the new media channel, so I suppose I have some responsibilities as a blogger too. I can imagine how monumentally life changing it could be to hear news that someone you greatly admire killed themselves. Marilyn Monroe and Leslie Cheung were powerful icons. Curiosity would lead many to ask questions. And it probably is never simple, since they were very intelligent people living complex lives. I agree that succinct reporting appropriate for media channels. Yet in a certain sense it's like reading a really good book and having a really brief unexplained ending.

But if you think about it. Should we really know? After all I'm sure the most people who have the right to know, do know the truth. We as the masses should respect the private lives of those famous. If the person only wants to give a note the family, then it should stop there. If they wanted to proclaim their cause to the world they would have done so.

Beyond questioning. Beyond promoting. Beyond calling the reason stupid or senseless. Beyond the many other forms of conversing about it. Death above all should be respected. And what's more we have to remember that there is always something greater that deserves more attention. The person's life. After all, the reason why a person carries so much meaning with us is because of how they lived.

KTVU was very kind to Iris Chang and her survived family by airing a special broadcast about her life.

Also saw an interesting episode of ER today. A dying man with kidney disease chose not to extend his life with procedures. It's a powerful reminder that we always have the choice over our own lives. And compassion is always a  more important factor in life and death decision than survival alone. That's a very human aspect. And it's one of my fundamental beliefs. That I should live my life as a man of compassion. I have many such convictions concerning life and death.

in response to sagecaptain's question. so what is it that we are fighting for?

i'm fighting for integrity in america. one of my most memorable quotes from kerry in a debate was the words his dying mother left him. integrity, integrity, integrity.

what does that mean? well truthfulness is one aspect of it. but it's more than that. the united states people have to set aside our pride and admit to the mistakes we made, so we can learn from it and build from the ground up a solution to the mess we created. another aspect is to never give in to our fears and be cautious that our anger does not breed evil. it's right to change the world and make it a safer place. but we can not let our pains blind our judgment or alter our morals by committing acts of tyranny in the world.

i'm am definitely not calling the iraq war a tyrannical act. but i'm going to say that we are moving in a direction of using fear to drive our goals. iraq is a walking a really fine line between a righteous cause and act of oppression. if it was so clearly noble we wouldn't have half the country (and the majority of the world) objecting the direction we are heading.

What is this feeling? I am discouraged. An odd sense of having your source of hope stripped away from you. And fate teasing us about the statistical miracle that perhaps the provisional ballots can be enough to move the numbers in Ohio back to Kerry's favor. Well maybe if many of the overseas votes are from people who understand more the value foreign relations and the pretty much all vote for John. But if I were to look at this objectively purely as an analyst with my three years of experience looking at data... I would hang my hat up as an analyst if that statistical improbability occurred. (Though I would hang it up gladly.)

Some interesting data for us analysts are found here http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2004/pages/results/states/US/P/00/epolls.0.html

Interesting because I see more clearly the role of an analyst. To setup and conduct the appropriate testing for extracting information. Then to make sense of the data we see by applying analytic thinking and reasoning.

In a sense I know that myriads of citizen in my country share my feelings of disappointment, but that doesn't help appease the uneasiness I get thinking that the majority of the United States has a view very different from mine. My worries may have gotten the best of me today. My concerns for the country grows greater. That this war in Iraq is going to cost several folds more American lives. Will the loss of troops ever reach a total greater than the live lost in 9/11? How many Iraqi civilians whom had never felt ill will toward the U.S. before this war will die or live on to hate us because of it? Well if democratization of Iraq does work out, how many will feel gratitude?

Everything around me was quiet. And it seemed to be that way throughout much of the day. I don't know if it's actually the case or whether the circumstance have affected me psychologically.

John Kerry was my hope. For a better future in the next four years. Earlier this morning my hope conceded to my fears.