When I was at the hospital on Monday, I acknowledged to the social
worker that my aunt was my mother. We were all emotional from the chain
of events. That wasn’t the first moment I truly felt like her son, but
there was no hesitation when I made that acknowledgment. More than
either the title of aunt or mother, she has more than enough done her
part as the role of mom. Here’s more or less how I greet or refer to
some of the members of my family…

My biological father
Chinese/Cantonese: ba ba
English: father, papa
How I see him: successful, rational, charismatic

My third uncle
Chinese: san shu
Cantonese: saum sook
English: uncle, old man, pop
How I see him: determined, willful, irritable

My biological mother
Chinese: shi
Village Cantonese: say (4)
English: mother, mum
How I see her: endearing, affectionate, humorous

My third aunt
Chinese: san
Village Cantonese: saum (3)
English: aunt, mom
How I see her: independent, practical, sensitive

My biological grandfather
Cantonese: yeh
English: grandfather
How I see him: (never knew him)

My third aunt’s father
Cantonese: dai goong
English: granduncle, grandpa
How I see him: insightful, wise, confident

My biological grandmother
Village Cantonese: ma (we don’t use po po)
English: grandmother, grandma
How I see her: nurturing, encouraging, kind

My third aunt’s mother
Cantonese: dai po
English: grandaunt, grandmum
How I see her: cheerful, composed, serene

well the weekend of housework and such turned out pretty successful. a pat on the back for myself, and sigh of relief.

upon rummaging through items around my house, i came across a package
that was sent to me in the mail a while back. it was a free trial pair
of diapers.  i kid you not. not the kind of garment for sumo wrestlers. not the diapers for old people. baby diapers.

now i can't help but think that huggies just has an inherent flaw in
their targeting method. why in the world would the company send diapers
to the one bedroom apartment of a single male? and it's almost truly
junk mail, as it's not the sort of thing i can give away or even
recycle. and i'm guessing it cost them quite a bit to ship it too.
since i've analyzed direct mail so much at my job, i've learned quite a
bit about how postage works.

well if any of you have a use for size 4 baby huggies convertibles baby
diapers before i throw it away, i'll be happy to pass it along. mousse
had given me a call and i described the weird occurrence to him. he
asked me what kind of diapers they were, and i couldn't remember off
the top of my head.

jimmy: "i don't know... huggies reversibles or something,"

mousse: "ewww..." he reacted in disgust. "you're kidding. that's a stupid idea."

jimmy: i bust out laughing. "yeah. you can use one side, and then you can reverse them and wear the other."

hah! the ridiculousness of it all made us laugh so hard i almost shit in my pants.

this next entry is a response to something i read.

first read nephyo's 02/02/2005 posting
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=nephyo&nextdate=2%2f2%2f2005+23%3a59%3a59.999
  
consider for a moment the works of claude monet. now i happen to think
that he's a wonderful artist, a master of impressionism. if you look at
his works though, they are very similar to each other. mostly
because... well that's monet. that's one of his styles and that defines
him as an artist. i would like to argue that people like to see a
degree of similarity in a specific artist's works. that way they he/she
develops a distinctive identity. it's fine for your style to be the
same as your own pieces, so long as they are different enough from
everyone else’s. if it's a new concept and different, you get praise
for being "original".

let's propose a thought experiment. now i'm not an art historian so
keep in mind that these aren't meant to be historically accurate.

scenario 1: suppose monet painted three impressionism masterpieces of
waterlillies in an era of his life that spanned a few years. then he
never painted any waterlillies again, and critics acclaim that those
were pehaps his greatest works.

scenario 2: suppose monet painted two impressionism masterpieces of waterlillies, and had
idea for a third. he gets critical acclaim for those two works and
decides to paint his third. but let's say he didn't actually get to
painting it until he many years down the line, when he was no longer
the "latest thing". he finishes his third piece, and get accused by
some critics of being "unoriginal".

do you see? it's all relative! just like einstein saw it. the three
paintings in scenario 1 could be exactly the same as the three in
scenario 2 in all physical properties and appearances. however they
appraised differently in each scenario. i can't help but think that if
miyazaki made monoke hime shortly after nausicaa, then people would not
have criticized it for being so similar to nausicaa. after all, isn't
resembling a great work of art a plus? well the simple truth is that
items are never valuable
in of themselves, the only possess value in context!

now it seems me that there is no crime being committed, if you are
"copying from yourself". it's just expectations created by the
observer, and disappointment on their part that their expectations were
not met. in a ways people expect that pioneers that create
breakthroughs should be able to continue to make breakthroughs in the
future of the same scale. this is not only an outside influence, but
many times the artists put that pressure of themselves.

take for example george lucas. people can wish that he will create some
other film in the future, that will define and shape an era like star
wars did. but mostly someone else will be the one to change the world
rather than the same person doing it all over again. when you get that
big. only a select few are ever successful at redefining themselves to
the degree that their originality still thrives and their impacts are
many fold spanning across several eras. madonna is the first person
that comes to mind. picasso would be another.

let's see how it turns out. my plan is to spend the majority of my
weekend cleaning, running errands, organizing, preparing, planning and
performing various other similar task work for the coming week ahead.
not time to waste. shoot for productivity.

the lunar new years is upon us. this will be the first i spend in my
own apartment. so i want to prep up my place nice, like how chinese
family customarily do. perhaps to reaffirm that i'm a responsible
person and that i still value my chinese heritage and its traditions.
perhaps it's just that i have important guests coming over.

i won't have all the adornments and decorations that typically go with
the season. though i will clean the apartment spic and span so as to
welcome good fortune. or so that's what they say. sadly i won't wake up
to the aroma of fresh new years fried treats... but that's what your
family's house is for, right?

okay. one chore at a time. first up... ironing tonight... then i'll run down my list in the morning.

Back to waking up at 6 in the morning. Which means I get to sleep at a
decent hour. It helps to ease into a hectic day with a quiet morning.
You get more done, and less distractions.

Another comment about American Idol. One of the reasons why I enjoy
watching is that I'm a big music nut. (As opposed to a musical nut...
which would imply that I have talent in music... which is not
necessarily the case) I'm the kind of person with a wide, wide
selection of music I listen to. From classical, t' hip hop, to pop, ta
country, to blues, jazz, disco, a cappella, opera, freestyle... all
that... my MP3 collection is motley indeed. Not only do I really like
the original versions of popular songs in given genres, but I also like
remixes (even those done in a different style) and other artists
putting their own spin on classics. The Puff Daddy type of remix. The
Wierd Al type. But also something like Utada Hikaru singing Frank
Sinatra's "Fly Me to the Moon."

So in these American Idol auditions and competitions, we get to here
talented individuals do their own renditions of great songs. (As well
as some audition moments when people does an absolutely hideous
performance. But those are just flat out funny.) The show allow one to
sample interesting songs spanning across different subcultures, like
those of a particular geographic region, a particular age group, or era
in time.

Hearing the judges comment on the people trying out made me wonder
about the following. How bad or well does my singing sound? Now for
sure I'm not at the caliber to go professional... but at least I can
tell whether someone sings well or not. So I'm guessing I'm at least
good enough to know what wrong with my singing if I hear myself sing.
For some odd reason that's not an easy thing to do... to critique
yourself while you sing. I've do notice that my voice cracks a bit when
I try to sustain a note and that I can't hit certain pitches. However I
believe I can identify and mimic a tone well. One of the those things
that probably helped me out in Spanish class, and Mandarin Chinese
class.

I do burst into song in the privacy of my own apartment every now and
then. Yet when it comes to karaoke... I don't think I sound good
through a mike. Though I do like the sound when I sing along to a
favorite song. Perhaps it's because the clear pitch and note of the of
actual artist helps drown out my own voice. Whereas with karaoke...
your flaws are naked before the jury of your peers.

I don't believe I've ever asked the opinion of any friends what they
thought of my singing. But now I'm kinda curious. I want to be at least
good enough so that I don't make an ass out of myself if ever I was
asked to sing at a wedding. A few drinks can help with that for several ways.

1. You won't think your own singing sounds that bad.
2. Even if you think you sound bad, you won't care. Fill er up again. <hiccup>
3. It's more excusable. People would most likely say, "Shut up you're drunk" instead of saying, "Shut up you suck."

just a collection of random thoughts for the last few days.

getting emails from welcoming friends proves to be an effect way of
releaving stress strung up from work. even thought we don't have time
to reply to them, and even if they are a few words. it's a nice breath
of fresh air.

what i dislike about having hectic days at work, isn't so much the
stress, but that it drains the heck out of me. and i find myself
lacking energy to do other things that i want or that i feel are
important... sigh...

american idol has some pretty funny auditions. nothing compares to the legendary william hung. but many are quite entertaining.

my copy of star wars trilogy on dvd just arrived a few days ago. it was
soooo awesome to watch it again. there are of course points minor about
each i can offer criticism on. such as how updating with the special
edition takes away from the original look and feel of star wars. and if
you think about really look at it you can totally tell the major
advancement in special effects in movies through the three milestone
movies.

more things make sense rewatching it. but also some new things i wonder
about. which die hard fans might be able to explain to me easily.
like... what exactly happens when a jedi knight dies? in some cases
there is no body left behind. in some cases they have to burn and
cremate the bodies.

small research online...

turns out that a jedi can sacrifice himself to be one with the force...
and not leave a trace of a body. and the story behind the sith is
interesting. starwars.com really doesn't mind writing down many of the
spoilers. from what it looks like... episode iii: revenge of the
sith... seems like it will be an incredibly dark movie. i'm wondering
how i would like it.

in a sense, it's the missing piece of the story... how the epic iv, v,
and vi episodes tie into the i, ii, and iii of anakin's tale. so it
will bring closure. but in a sense i know things will turn out bad. you
know that because episode iv: a new hope starts off that way. the
empire is in control. vader is a bad ass. etc. and any lightening of
the gravity of the situation in episode iii would only be unjust to the
original trilogy. no, the bad guy definitely has to win in the end...
and it needs to be pretty brutal for the story to be preserved.

but do you see the problem it creates? assuming george lucas is
finished with the star wars saga after episode iii... then the last
star wars movie he makes will be one that might leave a really bad
taste in the mouths of people. some people might even start feeling
blue or feel like it's incomplete after watching it. they will be
like.... "that's it? that can't be it. where's the justice?"
"where's the happy ending?"

but after watching the trilogy i'm reminded... that the true
conclusion... the resolution... lies in the original trilogy. and what
people should do sometime after they get that bad feeling from watching
episode iii... is to continue right into "a new hope". thus the circle
completes.

hm... just makes me wonder... whether i'll like this final chapter in
star wars or not. one things for certain... i'm much more concerned
that it's correctly done... in that it should never.... ever... take
away any value of the greatness of the original films.

we'll see...

Season 3 of the Apprentice just kicked into gear. I'm a moderate fan of
the show. At times I find that there are some very useful things you
can learn. At other times, things get a little too "reality tv" to be
realistic and there are also moments when I just don't agree with
Donald's Trump's decisions or attitude.

I think I find the show especially entertaining since it parodies the
corporate world. And of course things are funny when you can related to
them. I found the movie "Office Space" to be hilarious after I got my
first white collar job. Much the same reason why my of us like Dilbert
comics.

In today's episode one candidate asked Donald if one of the stories he
heard was true. That some stranger had helped fix the flat tire of his
limo without knowing it was Trump's ride, and Trump rewarded him by
paying off his house.

It's one of the few surprisingly nice stories you hear about Trump.
Much of the time he promotes his big ego, big bucks, cut the crap,
cutthroat business mentality. It's when that side rears it's ugly head
in the show when I don't like it. There are points when it seems that
Donald gives up the goodness of humanity to instead opt for the money
smart decision.

Still I love the mix of personalities that the past two seasons have
shown, and I love to see how smart people brainstorm ideas, think on
their feet, manage their tasks and make successful decisions. It's a
pretty good show to learn from. Not to live by. But I find it to be a
good resource.

I went out to buy some congee today, but it turned out the little
bakery that I'm used to going for such things were sold old. I should
have known better since it's more appropriately a breakfast food, and I
went there in the afternoon. So I decided to purchase some ingredients
from the local store and try making my own.

The rice I have at home. Check. Buy some lean pork... ground pork works
about as well I guess. Check. Scallions. Check. Preserved duck eggs.
Ahh... It would not be pork congee without these uniquely textured and
flavored beauties. Check.

Now I still do not know how good or bad of a cook I am. But I'm still
learning. I figured since this is congee, I can't really screw it up
royally unless I leave it unattended for a long time. Well it turned
out that I added too much rice. Which was handily fixed by a strainer
and two rice bowls. Other than that I think the cooking went pretty
well. I did a taste test, and I was impressed for my first try. Not
silky restaurant style caliber, but pretty close to how my aunt's
congee tastes. Hmm... Next time I should add sliced ginger. And
possibly try using fish slices. Yum.

On another note the Asian Tsunami turned out to be much greater toll
what I had stated earlier. Over 160,000. Possibly more. Many countries,
companies, and individuals are helping out for the cause.

New Years. New York. DC.

Yukino and I spent a wonderful New Years together. We went to see the Rockefeller Christmas tree and ice skaters, then looked for the Time Square ball. In the end we decided that it would be much nicer to spend the night at home with champagne. A rather humorous and memorable countdown.

Then we traveled over to D.C. and stayed to see her sister and brother-in-law. A very enjoyable tour of various national monuments. And I must say that the Smithsonian museums are absolutely astounding. Even though we only toured a fraction of the museums and exhibits there were many wonderful historic artifacts and artworks to see. It's an incredibly generous act to offer free admission too.

Magic. Then and now.

It's a weird feeling one gets. When old times seem so far away. And we come to realize that setting up a time pocket scenario from the past will be slightly out of sync with the mentality with the present. It's overwhelming to think that it can feel so different even though we have not changed that much.

Two nights ago Clef and I drove down to Maryland to meet up with Rowen for a night of classic Magic the Gathering, with drafts and casual play. The car ride was a nice one, as I got to chat with Clef and catch up on the latest developments in each other's lives. Rowen looked well and still was able to crunch out great game play.

Overall I was wonderful to play the game that so defined an era of my life. It's always been a great outlet for my creativity in design, cleverness in thinking, as well as friendly competitive nature.

Yet in an another sense I sort of feel like a dinosaur when I see that popular Magic nowadays appeals more to people of a different age and culture. What will become of this game?

Awkward night.

I am back in New York now. Last night was one with a very unique situation. Things turned out okay. 

A moment of silence for the over twenty thousands lives taken yesterday. The 9.0 earthquake centered in the Indian Ocean caused tsunamis that devastated the coastlines across multiple Asian countries.

...