Just finished watching Ying Xiong (Hero). Wow.

Hands down the greatest martial arts film I have ever scene. I loved Tony Leung in this movie. Jet Li was phenomenal. As were Cheung Man Yuk and Zhang Ziyi. Not only is it an exemplary in it art form... cinematics and style... but it delved into incredibly deep points. From political to philosophical. In a way I felt that I understood more what the history of China represented and the point of view of those founding heroes of the dynasty. I'm sure the actual history of China was not played out by those events. Yet still, the story quite simply expresses the essence of the points to be made.

Why this movie stands out like no other is that its the perfect example of what a legend is. It's all about storytelling. The way the story was told is how we picture legends in our minds and spirits when the get passed down from generation to generation. Simply beautiful. Beginning to finish.

Ever get this feeling? You set out your day with a plan. An extensive list of things to complete. And as you go on through your day you are doing all the things that are expected of you and that hold the priority of the moment. In fact productivity for the day is very high. Now at the end of the work day I found myself leaving at one of the latest hours for quite some time. And didn't have dinner until much later in the evening. Yet still when I got home I hadn't completed the two items that were the first to be added on my day plan. Now it's a shy past midnight and I've finished one item, but the other is pushed to the next day. This isn't about stress though. Since these items I have confidence in them being done in a timely fashion, and they aren't important enough to pull my hair out for. But this is an example of how intricate our day can become and how we control its intricacies.

There is just so much that goes on and the day is just not filled with enough hours to get to them all. I've managed to organize my tasks fairly well now, but if I take a look at the structure I use for organization its like a web. So scattered its a wonder how things get done. Evidence of this type of organizational structure is evident in my computer files. I have dozens of ways of calling my folders temporary. And a tunnelwork system created using by using shortcuts.

It seems almost that we have two opposite aspects of human nature that lend themselves to work together in synergy. One is our desire to complicate things. Complexity is related to knowledge, security, versatility, meaning, and strength. We also possess the desire to simplify things. Simplicity is related to happiness, efficiency, understanding, and beauty.

So there's this dance of simplicity and complexity. We simplify, complicate, simplify, complicate. All along weaving this wonderful pattern we call out life. It reminds me of fractals. They say that fractals are so ingrained in nature, that even the most complex systems can be traced to a formula that is simple and elegant. So if it's the case with fractals... that you start with a y1=f(x), plug it into the function f(x) to get a new y2=f(y1), then rinse and repeat... doesn't that resemble the way we approach life. If or way of thinking... who we are... how we act is f(x)... each y thereafter is an outcome of us invoking our will in the world.

Fractals are so beautiful. It makes me smile to think that they may be related to our human nature.

Maybe it's because I saw Harold and Kumar recently. But after I got back from work I checked my mail and saw a coupon book for KFC. All of the sudden I got a major hankering for warm tender grease fried chicken from a chain restaurant. Gotta hand it to well placed and well timed advertising. Checked the fridge. Nothing inside would have been good enough to satisfy my craving. And so I went out for nine o'clock binge. Ah... Couldn't finish it all. But it feels good to have exactly what you hunger for.

So I came back in touch with the two people who I can relate to the best. Shortly after I completed my IM chat with an old friend, I recieved a telephone call.

Two things I will always remember from that conversation.

First. At the moment when we are most humble and most open with ourselves, that is when all doubt washes away. When our intentions are revealed and the truth of how much we care for each other is shown before us that is when understand each other. So it's best that we not forget what we learned in these moments. And this is how I'll remember the time when I had no doubt of my feelings.

Second. It won't be easy, but it's definitely worth it. Remember what each of you want and what it takes to achieve it and remember that there is a common goal. The best things in life never are easy.

I burned myself in that little episode I had last night. Not a bad burn as it doesn't hurt now, but a noticeable scar remains. Note to self next time. String is not a good item to transfer a flame, as it easily coils back on your fingers.

K, a friend of my sister, delivered my sister's gift today. How nice of her to carry it all the way from China. Got my haircut today. By my trusted stylist this time. Its good to try out other places once in a while just to sample what else is out there. But after you get a mediocre haircut, it's better to revert back to someone you know you can count on. She has a wonderful way of cutting hair.

Now I must first apologize to someone before I continue, as this next topic is about subject that I said I would drop. But after I thought about it some more, I'm much more at ease about it. And I admit I was rather stubborn to even think about debating it in the first place.

Jimmy:    a question for you... that might seem rather random
Clef:    random questions can be good.
Jimmy:    or maybe randomness is not all that unexpected coming from me
Jimmy:    do you feel the word "idle" is derogatory?
Clef:    no.
Jimmy:    really? do you think that most other people see it as such?
Clef:    I think if being idle as a state that can be both a negative and a positive state, but I don't believe I've heard people many use it in a derogatory fashion.
Clef:    well... maybe I have... I don't hear people saying in a disparaging tone "He's so idle" or "what an idle thing to do", which would suggest a very low opinion of someone on the basis of their idling.... However, I do note that there are phrases like "standing idly by" or "idle chatter" which are more or less negative.
Jimmy:    would you ever feel comfortable describing yourself with that word?
Clef:    and accorded to objects it is similar, I never hear "that idle piece of junk" but I do hear "the engine is idling" suggesting a negative state.
Jimmy:    you see... there has only been one instance in my entire life i've ever heard of it as a positive word
Clef:    me? I don't think a single term is ever good for describing a person.... However, I would consider using idle in certain contexts as part of a greater description of myself.
Jimmy:    oh i don't mean a defining term... perhaps just a description of your current state
Clef:    even the idea of current state is complex.  Current stat as in sitting here typing, clearly the term is not appropriate. Current state in my life's plan... maybe...
Jimmy:    lol... anyways... maybe it was a little unfair asking you... as i had a suspicion you would respond with something very unique
Clef:     i don't know, there is certain a culture of society that advocates constant perpetual action that has always disturbed me.  Stop and think, or just stop and experience are things that aren't particularly highly valued. In a world where "stopping" is negative than of course "idle" is a good disparaging word to describe those that are doing it, while not being quite as offensive as a direct insult such as "lazy"
Jimmy:    in such a society then... all that word really is, is a more eloquent word for "lazy"
Clef:    Well when used as a adjective almost always. As that's where the negative use came from when the verb was turned into an adjective I suspect.  As a verb though it is not always so.  "To idle" is simply not to act. It could have as easily evolved into a term used for a restful state.
Clef:    or peaceful state....
Clef:    i think i recall some poets who have used the idle == peaceful connotation.
Jimmy:    ah... so it was the verb that I was looking for...
Jimmy:    yeah... the time i heard it positive was in the poetic sence
Jimmy:    at first i thought there was a noun form but i was horribly mistaken
Jimmy:    i suppose it's not all too different from "sleep"
Jimmy:    as a verb or noun it's not really postive or negative
Clef:    i'm no language expert....  But I think the nound "idler" can be a form of the verb "to idle"   Where as the terms idleness and  idly are almost always associated with the adjective definition.
Jimmy:    but sleepy and sleepily isn't really postive
Clef:    no doubt the descriptive forms of the words all come from the tilted culture that values action highly, especially the European/English/Protestant work ethic complex that corrupted the west...
Jimmy:    hm... very good. that helps a lot. more than you might guess.
Clef:    On a purely theoretic level, there is no imparative that says you much act or achieve or succeed. Some biologists say that there is one to survive but i don't buy it. Finding a reason to do or not do is the fundamental search of human existence. I think that it is important to think about first principles to determine your actions, and that means first deciding whether to act or not, to sleep or not, to eat or not, to survive or not to survie.
Jimmy:    there is always a choice to do or not to do... whereas at times people get frustrated with wondering how to do... that it simple option never occurs to us
Clef:    indeed, imagine you are on a stage giving a play and you're incredibly nervous and forgetting your lines,  how often does a person decide to simply stop. To say "I'm not doign this" and calmly walk off the stage? It never occurs to us. Instead we tend to stumble through our lines or run away...
Jimmy:    hah that's a funny example... but what able a sense of duty in that example?
Jimmy:    at times life is like a circular current at those park water rides...
Clef:    That's the thing. Duty binds us to a vast majority of our actions. Throughout our lives we are fulfilling duties, meeting expectations. Duty to our parents. Our friends. Our teachers. Our coworkers. An Audience, The Society, The Nation, Your team, Your spouse, Your children, your grandparents, your grandchildren....
Jimmy:    true... the feeling that you're being pushed in a direction doesn't feel good... then you feel like you're trapped
Jimmy:    but duty is a different sort of feeling
Clef:    But you never have to fulfill these obligations. These are moral choices. So you have to have a good reason for them. But often we don't think about the reasons. We're just stuck in the moment, acting to fulfill these needs.

To hear of others' sorrows from a third party and only being able to imagine about how they could be dealing with it. I don't know... Rather like a feeling passed along without the actual images and experiences of tragedy. At least there is some comfort in believing the fact that more people you actually realize care about your situation and offer condolence and prayer. Certain other thoughts need not be spoken. Bless the heavens for the luck that we do have

On a side note, I watched John Kerry's speech he gave April 22, 1971 before the US Senate's hearing on the Vietnam War. Incredibly powerful and eloquent were his words. And to think that we are reliving many similar events in our era. How history does tend to repeat. Though we have people who have lived through that very war of not too long ago. I've slowly become a fan of C-Span now. That alongside with NPR which I have been a fan of for quite some time.

An art lover's paradise. I was left in awe as I walked from room to room of stunning exhibits. As I journeyed on fighting the tiring steps of three hours of constant walking I smiled with the widest grins and whisper out the names of the artists in familiarity. My feet grew weary from the stroll. The Metropolitan Museum in New York has to be the most wondrous art collection I have ever seen compiled and colossal in proportions at that. More than just seeing the pieces critiqued before in art classes, it that I was close enough to touch it. Though I would not dare to defile such works with my ameteur digits, but to be able to be upclose enough to apreciate the thick fluid brush strokes. Each dab of Seraut, each smear of Van Gogh, each pat of Monet. Such was day two of my trip to New York.

Yesterday was my flight. JetBlue is a nice economically priced airline. Met an interesting fellow along the way. I believe his name was Egill, so says my quick internet research into Icelandic names, since he mentioned he was from Iceland and even showed me his passport. He was young man sixteen years of age, that seems to be well traveled. Been to places like Denmark and many states in the US. He asked me whether I would mind him watching “The Girl Next Door” on his laptop. I said it shouldn’t really bother me if he wants to watch it. He says that he’s only asking because it does contain nudity in it, since he had the uncensored version. I was kinda surprised since I remember a review mentioning that Elisha Cuthbert did not have any nude scenes in the movie. Now on an aside I didn’t even know the name Cuthbert until recently when VH1 ranked her as one of the hottest women in Hollywood. She’s better known as Kim Bauer on “24”, which I’ve watched only one episode of, but she also played that high school girl in “Old School” which I do remember. Anyways she was hot enough and a respectable enough celebrity for me to keep a wallpaper background of her. Tzzzz… Sizzling.

So I've reach this milestone in life. It's my first where I've actually felt so independent. A little lonely yes. A little indifferent about the celebrations. I no longer feel it's a big deal, and don't really want people to make a big deal about it. But in another sense I really appreciate it when I get the phone call from my sister, my mom, from Yukino. And the office did something real nice for me too. Cookies and chitchat in the break room. The rest of the family here held a real nice barbeque for me last weekend. Haruka, Seta, their daughter, my aunts, counsins, granduncle, grandaun, and uncle J2. Tried oysters on the grill from the first time. Wonderful stuff when you add a touch of tabasco sauce, lemon and pepper.

But on the actual night of, I spent some quality time for myself.

Ah...

A peaceful birthday.

I left work after 5:30 yesterday which was a pretty decent hour for me. Hopped on the ferry for my trip home. When I got off the boat I walked over to my car and reached in my pocket.

 {Where are my car keys? My house keys?} I check all the pockets in my pants, shirt, and bag. Nada.

 {Oh shit. Did they drop out while I was sitting on the ferry? Or could they be back at the office?} Decided to call and check... Now who would still be there at this hour? Of course.

Me: "Hey W, it's Jimmy. Now I know I must sound like a doofus, but would you do me a favor?"

W: "Sure. What is it."

Me: "Can you go to my desk and check my drawers to see if my keys are there."

W: "Okay. You wanna call back at your desk?"

Me: "Ya okay. Thanks." I dial my desk.

W: "Hello."

Me: "Do you see a set of keys anywhere?"

W: "Uh... Yeah. I see two sets."

Me: "Ah shit! I did leave them there!"  "And why the fuck did it take me until I get all the way over to Alameda to find this out?"

Your Mission, should you choose to accept it:

Now I was getting a bit hungry and so I wanted to grab my keys in time to catch the next ferry back to Alameda. My plan then was to beat the ferry to SF and board it on the returning trip.

I called up Mousse who was kind enough to pick me up from the terminal and drop me off at the BART station. He's a good friend helping me out in a pinch. However in this case I didn't provide the most helpful directions and he took a detour at the army base on his way over. But he got there in pretty good time and I thanked him for the ride.

Jumped out of the car and went ot the subway station. Another 7 minutes until the next SF train arrives. I was doing the math in the back of my head, and I estimated a 5-10 minute window from the moment I got off the train and when the ferry I wanted to catch would leave. It totally felt like a mission impossible scenario.

Into the BART train I go. Off the BART train. Run up the stairs. Up escalators. Onto the street. Across the city blocks. Beat the traffic light. Huffed into the lobby. *beep* Push the button. *ding* Up the elevators. *ding* *beep* Through the door. Run to my desk. Open the drawers.

There the are.  < sigh of relief > Run back to the elevator, waving goodbye to Will on the way. Push. *ding* Down the elevators. *ding*. Out to the street. Cross a few more blocks.

And I made it in time. Panting like crazy... though I had about 3 minutes to spare. Mission Accomplished.

Pretty good for a doofus.

So it's like a little game I'm playing with her over the phone. We're chatting about relationships. It's good to hear that she's seeing a guy she's really interested in. And to know that there is someone who treats her nice and enjoy company with.

The conversation spanned a bit about the differences between guys and girls. I tell ya... having a sibling of the opposite gender definitely opens up a broader understanding of the world. There is a theory that we presented ourselves with that for females... they tend to be more reserved in the beginning, but grow much more attached as the relationship progresses. For guys... they are more proactive in the beginning but grow less attached. Now I want to say this theory is utter bull. In both genders I know cases of clingy people. In both genders I know folks who don't feel their invested long term relationship is leading anywhere further. It seems more associated to one's personality than to their gender.

The topic also drifted into long distance relationships. We both have expertise on this subject given our own experiences. This next theory is that an individual will grow to prefer the relationship that's closer even though the farther one may be a better as a match. Someone told her once, "If I throw a volleyball right now, will you catch it?"

This theory I have an even stronger disagreement to. She said that there are probably exceptions to the case but those would be rate. Which kinda makes me smile more since my situation right now is an exception to the case.

Now the game actually appeared in the beginning of the call and it went like this...

Serena: "So are you dating anyone right now?"

Me:  "Yeah, I thought you already knew."

Serena: "No, you never told me."

Me:  "Aunty didn't tell you when you talked to her last"

Serena: "We only spoke for a short bit. Calls from China are very expensive. Well that's wonderful that you have a girlfriend. When did you get together."

Me: "A few weeks ago. We had a vacation together."

Serena: "Is she in California?"

Me: "She's back in New York now."

Serena: "Huh? Another long distance relationship?... Do you feel this will work."

Me:  "Mostly definitely. We have a plan."

Serena: "So is she pretty?"

Me:  "Yes indeed."

Serena: "Taller compared to Yukino? Longer or shorter hair?"

Me: "About the same height with shorter hair."

Serena: "So what's her name?"

Me:  "Adeline."

Serena: "I never heard of that name"

Me: "It's an uncommon one."

Serena: "Is she ABC?"

Me: "No she was born in Asia."

Serena: "Oh okay. But does she speak Chinese."

Me: "Yeah she does."

Serena: "So what's her Chinese name?"

Me:  "huhhuha... uh... I'll tell you another time."

Serena: "You don't know it?"

Me:  "I know it, but I don't want to tell you right now. It's kinda funny."

Serena: "Haha! What? Now you've really got me curious. I want to know what kind of name it is if it's funny."

Me:  "hehe... I'll just tell you next time"

Serena: "Alright. Has she ever been back to China."

Me: "... uh... I'm trying to remember... I think she has."

Serena: "What? I'm getting the feeling here that you don't know this girl that well at all."

Me:  "Hahaha... No, we actually know each other real well."