September 3, 2006

  • Entry 112: Character Development

    I saw a wonderful movie last night. I choose to talk about that first because it will help set the stage. The movie itself wasn't as important as other things on my mind last night. But I do love how life plants a story for you to tell. And this is my story.

    Little Miss Sunshine.

    This is one of the best movies I've seen in a long time why? I love the story telling and the character development in this film. On top of that there were moments (especially at the end) when I was rolling pushed back on my chair laughing until my stomach hurt. I find the films I like best, the anime I like best, and even the books I like best are ones where the characters are very interesting people. People I can empathize and understand in some way, and that grow to be stronger people at the end of the story. To me events in the storyline mean little to me unless they are tied to some point of self-discovery, psychological, or spiritual change in one of the characters.

    "We work to become, not to acquire."

    Why do I like these movies? This wish is among my strongest goals in life, perhaps my highest goal. To help the people in my life, along with myself grow to become better human beings. This is important to me and to my life because at one of my lowest points of despair... my senior year of college when I was lost in direction, lacked motivation, lacked a reason to succeed... I found myself again through this dream. I found meaning in my life by changing from being a "smart man" who worked for success, to being a "kind man" who worked for helping others.

    What are your favorite books? What are your favorite movies? What do you like about them? Who are your favorite characters? Why? I'm looking to define myself again. Who am I? Am I selfish? Am I a problem? Do I not show enough care or attention to those I love?

    "You can't become who you want to be, by staying who you are."

    I can see I have changed. I am glad of it. I find now that I want more than just that though. I wish people will change too. I'm learning from many around me and shaping myself with that knowledge. Likewise I wish a little of my good qualities will rub off on other people. But there are a select few things that I have to hold to. Those are the things that are "true to you". Among those is a love for humanity. And a love for those you love. The idealist in me is fighting back, because I seem to have lost my way. I've made too many people cry. I have lost some of my strength, my kindness, my faith.

    I have one wish for the people of this world, and it is to live a little less for themselves and be understanding of each other. I want them to live as if the story of their lives was one of character development, and not of plot development. That events and material things in this world are nice... but it's experiences that we go through, the path we take, that life is all about. It's really hard. really hard... to let go of this wish.

    Name a person you love in life.

    Now identify how they have shaped who you are. If they were not in your life, if you had never met this person you are be different all? If another person took that role instead, would you be where you are right now? If the answer is yes... Consider how much you truly love the person. What role do they have in your life story? If they did not add to your character development... would they not just be minor cast.

    Clef taught me how to find my true self and to that I am stronger than my fears. If I had never met him I would not have a person who understands me philosophically.

    Yukino taught me how to love and that I can be successful, confident, and determined. If I had never met her my life would have been drastically different. I imagine possibly a starving artist, soft-spoken with lots of dreams but little action.

    That is my wish for the people of this world. To have people in this world would shape them more. It's really hard... really hard to let go of that wish. But if you don't want to be a person that will change yourself for the sake of anyone else... I will let go of my wish.