As a fun side project I've came up with and submitted some song lyrics to this contest that Kina Grannis has. Well I posted my submission and not surprisingly it didn't kick ass. That's kay... I'm an artist not a songwriter. Best leave that craft to those skilled in it.

I think Kina gave her fans something really wonderful tho. A way to be part of something bigger. I mean... even if the vast majority of the entries will not move much past their mediocrity... in the end... it's the act of sharing in this creative process that is important.

After browsing the other submissions, I think this one by Brittany (bitznpieces7) is the best one. I like it for several reason:

• It sets the right mood as an opening verse
• It leaves then next part of the story open, perfect to allow others to accompany it
• It paints an great and nostalgic picture of a childhood friendship
• From the beginning you know it's not your typical song. I hate how inundated the world is with cheezy love song lyrics. This is a breath of fresh air.

So yes. I'm shamelessly plugging for a complete stranger. She's like #2 in votes and I'm rooting for her to win.

If you like what you've heard, and you have a youtube account, please take a brief moment to follow this link and vote thumbs up for Brittany's lyrics via Google Moderator:
http://www.youtube.com/kinagrannis#p/u/0/I8yBO1yBTNM

So there was this opening act at the Ben Folds concert I went to earlier tonight. She is one cool Aussie chick. Here's my favorite song of hers:

There's another awesome song... less funny... more poignant... here:

(Panda's last day at work. We're both in front of our laptops on a video conference call. She's in VA office. I'm in CA office. The following conversation happened over IM.)

Jimmy: i ain't gonna cry nooh
 and i won't beg you to staaay
 if you're determined to leave girl
 i will not stand in your waaaay

Panda: HAHAHAHAHAHAH..... OMG IM DYING

Jimmy: heard it on the radio on my drive this morning... i ended up singing along... it was awesome

Panda: HAHAHAHAHAAH
  OMG
  I CANT STOP
  do you see this graph?
  herros love the internet

Jimmy: lol
 omg... i was chuckling like crazy
 ppl in the room think i'm weird

Panda: hahahahaha
  haha dittoo

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So Panda is first official person to ever quit on my direct team, since I've become a manager. Very sad to see her go, but also very happy for her. I've had my share of goodbyes when leaving companies where I absolutely loved the teams I was a part of, and my managers. It feels a little funny to sit on this side of the fence now.

Insane amount of snow today. My fridge was mostly empty except for beer. Since I’m moving out soon, I didn’t want to have that many perishables in stock. I should have enough canned foods to last until the snow is over. We’ll see.

Had an interesting car ride driving myself and my boss home after our Holiday Party. Thank god for all wheel drive on my Subaru.

Yesterday, I heard someone use the term “tool” to describe someone else. Now I had only heard this term one other time before to describe a set of girls. But this time it was in reference to a guy. When I researched online for the slang definition, I got what I felt were incorrectly assigned traits. I think the official definition is a person who “let’s themselves be used” or “incapable of understanding that they are being used”. Some were adding that never taking risks was part of this meaning. I believe that, being risk adverse… although probably highly correlated with the personality type of a tool… isn’t really a defining component.

I also feel it’s important to get the focus of the meaning right, so that person being called that can appropriately address the charge. Almost like being charged for a crime. Take for example the derogatory term of “gullible” which is also highly correlated to a “tool” personality type. If a person works on their awareness when others lie to them, to try to not be gullible, they may still fall victim to people who tell the truth, but still take advantage of them. Like a friend frequently giving/lending out other people money as favors. If the reasons for lending are all true, that friend isn’t gullible. But if they were extemely regular incidences or the intentions were often not noble, then that may tag the friend as a tool.

Having a spine and standing up for yourself, is an important trait to possess. I think taking risks and being cautious of people’s intentions is also important, but they could be separate areas of focus.

It's an amazing event when it happens.

Pieces fit together so perfectly. Series of events from your past... the really big ones like 2 years ago... the really memorable ones like 7 months ago... the secret ones like 3 months ago... the ones you took for granted that you never realized were important. They make so much sense. Doubt and frustration transforms itself into wonder and passion.

These things I believe now with strong conviction:

1. My life has changed going forward. I as a person have also greatly changed.
2. The decisions I made in the past were meant to be. Just witnessing all these events firsthand has renewed my faith that there is something much greater beyond us just living. Fate. Karma. Spiritualism. God. I may never fully understand what it is, but it's there.
3. I will be blogging on Xanga and posting on Facebook less.

That last one may sadden some of you. But it's real and I feel I should be upfront about it. There are many important things I need do immediately and with my time going forward. Blogging and social media serves a different purpose than it did before. I blog and share less when big things go on in my life, really good or really bad. It's ironic I know.

Thank you readers.

These past few months I've quickly become a huge fan of Kina Grannis. Here are a few lines of lyrics from The Goldfish Song.

Halloween passed. I decided not to attend any events this year, including a costume party I was toying around with ideas for. I totally was going to dress up as Sumeragi Subaru, but found even this seemingly simple costume a little challenging to put together. The hardest part was actually finding a white/off-white trench coat that 1) wasn't a womens design 2) didn't look a doctor's lab coat 3) didn't look a detective's overcoat. Black trench coats are a dime a dozen. White coats are extremely rare... for dudes.

Anyways I ended up spending most of my weekend on real estate research. Getting more of my plans into motion. I may have mentioned this before, but the 20-something me had lot of idealistic dreams and aspirations. Quickly as I become the 30-something me there's a wave of responsibility I see. Those hopes I had for myself that were unfulfilled… still linger... waiting... I haven’t forgotten them. I just came to realize that there are very big needs that have to be addressed.

Part of getting older I guess. Your duties play a bigger part of your life than your dreams. To me… sending a goldfish to the sea represents my idealistic spirit. The idea may be young and naïve… even flawed with logic… people tell you that things in the world don’t work that way… that you will get hurt. The goldfish will die in the open water.

But damn it, it just feels right. He can’t be trapped in a bowl forever. He longs for freedom. I'm not doing it just for him. It's for me. The goldfish is me. I want to give him that sense of freedom that is slipping away from me oh so quickly…

My mom needs me. I have decided to trade in my youth to take care of her. Now more than ever I feel like an adult.

Couldn't sleep.

I talked with my manager yesterday to set things in motion. There may be some options. We'll see.

I'm also starting a new system for getting important things done. We'll see

I'm competitive. I'm absolutely disgusted at my performance at managing my fantasy football team. Dumb mistakes I made. I deserve to have lost.

 
That's me on the left. I should have played the better Tight End which would have been a 24 point difference. But the clear clear mistake was not benching my injured Quaterback Donovan McNabb.

About three minutes before the conclusion of the Monday Night Football game between Dolphins and Colts, both my opponent's WR Garcon and my TE Fasano had nothing. It was 149 to 138. Then Manning had to throw a completion to Garcon who ran it in for a TD. 14 on the board on his side. So frustrating. I ended up losing by 2 which did not have to be if I managed my team right. I'm incredibly angry at myself for not reviewing this earlier in the week. So wrong. Argh.

Well... on the bright side. The 49ers are 2 and 0! Woohoo! And the Raiders are looking half decent this year. Let's hope the era of the football slump in the Bay Area is over.

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer.
Things fall apart. The centre cannot hold.
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.

I was introduced to these line of poetry from a book I read in my high school years. Things at work were collapsing left and right so it was fitting. My friend Gene responded by saying, "ah yes and don't forget that entropy increases it always increases in the end."

In the last two days things have gotten chaotic outside of work. Mom called me crying on the phone. The situation is getting out of hand. Hitomi hinted at craziness on her side as well.

It's funny. Things can be so messed up that actions become clear and your sense of purpose is potent.

So two days ago my company gave a course in presentation skills training. The first exercise we had in the morning was to take 20 minutes and write a 5 minute long speech. Some of us (myself included) had the task of giving a mock speech to a class of high school graduates, in which we frame the speech around a quote. My assigned quote was:

And this is the clip of my presentation:

If you play through the clip you will notice that I completely butcher the quote by saying the exact opposite of what I intended. Rather ironic. But also rather fitting since public speaking was something I was in the process of improving upon.

Any feedback or pointers of improvement? I got a lot of great input from other participants in my class, but I'd  be curious to hear your thoughts as well.