So one of the featured
Xanga articles spoke to dating between “Asian Girl/White Guy” and the differences between “Asian Guy/White Girl”. To quote
somekoreanchick:
“Let’s face it – Asian guys do have it a lot harder in this country than Asian women.”
This implies that in America pop culture Asian women have been elevated to be seen as attractive because of their ethnicity, but Asian men not the same way. There’s a chime of truth to that.
And in one of the comments, someone pointed to a hilarious
YouTube video where it suggested part of the cause was that many Asian men have low self esteem. There’s a chime of truth to that as well.
Such as with many things in this world the causes can stem from both the environment and oneself. The world is shaped by us, and we shape the world. However, rather than a discussion about relationships, I want to put the focus on a specific way I feel that Asian guys have it harder. There is a lack of relatable Asian Male role models in American culture.
Exhibit One – US Mainstream Asian Male Icons Today: Here are the ones I can think of. These people I highly respect but do not idolize.
Yao Ming Why he’s a hero to many: Dude are you kidding me? The guy is a towering Goliath, and rolls with the NBA big dogs.
Why he’s not my hero: I can't dribble well enough to save my life.
Jacky Chan Why he’s a hero to many: The man is sick. Jacky kicks ass and does it in a clever and humorous way that no other celebrity can. He’s like the Fred Astaire of Martial Arts Comedy.
Why he’s not my hero: A little too funny for my taste.
Jet Li Why he’s a hero to many: Serious ass kicker. In a much more traditional and stylish way. No joke when he’s won the Martial Arts World championship across multiple years.
Why he’s not my hero: Quite honestly. I think it’s his high pitched voice, with his accent.
Exhibit Two – US Mainstream Female Icons Today: Here are the women I can think of. If I were a chick, I’d dig these chicks.
Connie Chung
Once of the icons of a successful and beautiful woman. Total news anchor ownage!
Amy TanShe’s intelligent and beautiful. And her works inspired many women of our generation.
Sandra OhNow we’re bringing sexy into mix. Maybe the only Asian American actress that doesn’t get on my nerves.
Counterargument One – Rich Asian Guys. So many of you will mention that outside of Hollywood, there are plenty of smart and successful men to look up to. What about some of those rich Internet company guys?
Jerry Yangco-founder of Yahoo!
Why he’s not my hero: It’s his hair. I don’t want to be like him, if I don’t want to have his hairstyle.
Steve Chenco-founder of YouTube
Why he’s not my hero: Umm… So if I didn’t mention his title, would you even recognize his name or face? Great dude. Just not rockstar status.
So what is it that those 3 women I pointed out have that I’m looking for in a role model, that those men do not. It’s a mix between being savvy, attractive, confident, and sophisticated. If I were to choose a word… it would be charisma.
Counterargument Two – What About Bruce Lee? 
Bruce LeeGood point. We know the man has an indestructible aura of charisma. He’s stylish… And he looks good in a suit too.
Bruce Lee in a suit The only reason why I don’t have him as a hero is a simple one. He’s dead. Bless his soul, don’t mean any offense to the great master. But he left the world before many of us could see what impact he would have on the American Media. I might even speculate that if he were here alive today, even in his old age… he would lay the smack-down on any Asian American male stereo-type and stigma. How dare you call my brethren a bunch of pansies? Bi-otch! Ka-tah!
So What Next? What is an Asian guy like me to do? I’ve worked at 3 large companies in my career, and just an observation… but Asian women have been much more successful in achieving the executive positions. So not only is it hard to find out-of-reach Asian male celebrities as role models, I found it hard to meet real world Asian male mentors as good role models. So my solution was the following. Look outside my race, and look outside my country.
Looking outside my race isn’t hard as it is most important to find a role model you can relate to with a given personality and style. Either that you are or aspire to be. And personality and style are never defined by the color of your skin or slant of your eyes.
Secondly is to look outside my country. I had several Hong Kong celebrity role models growing up. They are legends in their industry in their own right, they just don’t have full recognition yet in the States. But don’t you think people’s perception of Asian guys would change if these were on US Weekly and other celebrity news outlets?
Andy LauRenowned singer and highly accomplished actor.
Tony LeungHands down my favorite actor.
And in closing, I should acknowledge the my father fits the standards of my ideal role model perfectly, regardless of gender or race. I’m really fortunate to have him as my pillar of a charismatic Asian man. Not many folks have it so lucky, and my goal was to shed light on that.
Comments (2)
I just happened upon this post, but since I am interested in this type of stuff. I felt obligated to write.
First, all of your Asian male role models are not Asian American except for the tech guys. The problem with the Asian role models you chose is that they don't understand the complexities of being an Asian American male. To them they can go back to China and girls would swoon. I think the right role models are Daniel Dae Kim, the guy who won survivor, Russell Wong, etc. These guys would have a better idea of what Asian American males go thorugh.
Amy Tan? She brutally destroyed the Asian male image single handedly in Joy Luck Club. Old guy using his wife by charging her everything. Russell Wong cheating on his wife. O and let's not forget that the white guy is the knight in shining armor.
Sandra Oh? She's not exactly attractive or pretty, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder and in the case of American particularly white males with yellow fever I guess she would be beautiful. How about Hyori Lee or the wonder girls or Son Dam Bi or Zhang Ziyi?
Andy Lau is an HK heart throb, but again HK not Asian American. John Cho and couple of the guys from Better Luck Tomorrow is a better reflection of being an Asian American male.
@CloudsKnowBest - Hey. Thank you so much for striking up an intelligent conversation. Let me first acknowledge that, yes, my understanding in this area isn’t the best researched. You bring up many good points that I had not considered. It just flew by me that the male villains in Joy Luck Club were all Asian while the good man was white. That is a frustrating depiction when you lay it out like that, but I didn’t believe that was intentional. I had viewed the book as heroism in women more so than dreadfulness in men. So I think the book does more good than harm, but I also agree that her work is marred with the possibility that a young woman reading it may be influenced in negative ways.
Actually I think the vast majority of Asian celebrities are much better looking than Sandra Oh. (Wonder Girls are hot). But they don’t have the Hollywood and prime time visibility like Sandra does. I just hold her in better than regard than someone like Lucy Liu. God, I can’t stand that woman.
Yeah, I also agree that ideal role models for Asians in US should actually be Asian Americans. Otherwise they don’t understand the crap we have to deal with. We better relate to them if they can relate to us. But that just underlines more that there are so few Asian American male role models. We get thrown into the “exotic” bucket too often. Thought our backgrounds are different, I think actors like Tony Leung have the right personalities... enough for me to aspire to be more like him. But if I tell non-Chinese people that, they look at me funny... like who the hell is that?
Daniel Dae Kim is awesome in Lost, but I almost feel Ken Leung’s stands a better chance of being a recognizable name as the character Miles. Ken actually plays an Asian growing up American. Many people are surprised when they first hear Daniel Dae speaks perfect English, because of the accent he uses on the show. I think both of these men are excellent actors and it would be awesome to see more of them in other films/shows down the line.